The Rose

Mr. S was a gentle person. Six feet three inches, close to three hundred pounds he was a presence in the room. A kind soul who always had a smile on his face. He used to see me for obstructive sleep apnea and had a myriad of health issues. When he was not compliant with his CPAP machine or had machine issues, he would always smile, determined to use the machine, and never wanted to disappoint me and promised to do better. I got to know him well during the years and we would talk about life and how he navigated through it, learning from him as I do through all the interactions with my patients.

One day we spoke about work and his career, how he was now retired and happily living with his wife of many years. I asked him what he does in his free time, and he told me that he carves wooden roses from a block of wood. It took me by surprise as he was a big man with big hands and thick fingers, yet his passion was to create a beautiful delicate rose from a block of wood. I asked him what he does with the roses when he makes them. He told me, “Dr Qureshi these roses are my love and I spend a lot of time carving them out. No one knows the love and passion I put into them and therefore there is no value I can attach to them. I don’t sell them; I give them away to people as no one can ever repay me for my love that I put in them.” I just smiled back at him as there was nothing I could say at that moment that could follow what Mr. S just so eloquently said to me.

Mr. S’s condition slowly worsened over the years. His breathing got worse, weight increased and one day he presented to the emergency room with shortness of breath and subsequently went into respiratory failure and was intubated. He was admitted to the ICU, and we treated him like we treat all our patients in the ICU, with love, hoping and praying each day that his condition may improve, and he can breathe on his own. Unfortunately, his condition did not improve. During this time, I had deep and intense conversations with his wife and had developed a rapport with her as well. She rarely accompanied him to the office visits. Then came the day to have the conversation with her that her husband was not going to get better and to plan his care. She told me he had lived a beautiful life, a fulfilling one and he would not want to spend the rest of his life attached to machines. She would want to take him off life support and let him pass in peace.

However, she had one request. Apart from his family visiting, she told me about his parrot who he had for close to 15 years who had missed him since he came to the hospital. She told me the bird would sit on his shoulder as he carved the roses and requested if the bird could visit. After speaking to my nursing supervisors,  we made a special allowance. The day we planned to take Mr. S off life support, the bird was brought into the room. He was placed on his stomach and the bird walked over to his face, looked at him put his beak down on his face as if he were kissing him for a few seconds then looked at him again and walked right back to his stomach. Mr. S’s wife picked up the bird, put him back in the cage and said thank you as I stood there and watched this entire scene. She looked at me and nodded that the bird was now at peace as well. It has been close to 8 years, and I remember that moment clearly.

I left the room to go take care of other patients when the nurse asked me that Mr. S’s wife would like to speak with me once more before we took her husband off life support. I walked back into the room. Mr. S laid on the bed, the room was quiet except for humming of the ventilator and the monitors, his wife there in the room and on the table there were three wooden roses. She told me that rose carving was Mr. S’s passion and he would have wanted me to have one. I suddenly recalled his statement that “no one can ever pay me for the love and effort I put into carving, and I just give them away.” I held back my emotions and tears and I looked at the three exquisitely carved roses and picked one. I too had closure with Mr. S. Our relationship had changed over the years from patient-physician to one of an extended family. I felt so lucky and honored to be given the rose. I hold onto it as it is one of the most beautiful gifts I have received. Mr. S passed away in peace, we said a prayer for him, and I still do each time I see the wooden rose.