Christmas Morning in the ICU

Driving to the hospital on a Christmas morning encountering 15-20 cars is typical. I usually get there a little earlier so I can get the night team out so they can head home to spend Christmas morning with family and loved ones. Hospitals are usually quiet with bare minimum staff and few visitors. Suddenly we hear “code blue, code blue” over the speakers and we forget its Christmas and run to the room announced overhead. We arrive to see a middle-aged male seizing and after stabilizing his airway and seizures, he is rushed for a CT. Results show a large area of bleeding with impending herniation. Family is called and, on their arrival, latest information is shared that he is not a surgical candidate. We leave family to absorb the information and continue to care for our patients. Like all mornings, this Christmas morning is no different in ICU.

In my years as an ICU physician and in my personal life, I have seen life change in an instant time and time again. Losing my father suddenly after a fatal cardiac arrest within hours has always helped me speak with families and allowed me to relate to them. My mother has been a rock after my father passed away and has taught me so much. Recently my world shook again when my brother called that my mother had a stroke. I flew to be with her as I know how fragile life can be. As soon as she knew I was coming, she expressed her disappointment that she may not be home to welcome and cook for me Fortunately she was discharged hours before my flight landed and when I arrived at my brother’s home in Boston she was there. She is recovering slowly and is very motivated to be independent again. My mother is truly a blessing in my life. Even in her time of not being well, she thought about others and how they would feel, these are the core values I have held on to in my life and in my career.

Covid 19 has tested us all as humanity. It continues to do so with new mutations every few months. As healthcare teams, we have bonded and supported each other. Christmas is a time to celebrate and be with family. It is a time of year when the darkness of the evening is replaced by lights. Homes, places of work and worship are decorated. In the ICU, we are the beacons of light when all else fails. We try to keep the light on but sometimes we cannot as that is the limitation of us being human. Yet, we are always positive to help those in need and to respond with the best of care and character. May this time of year be spent with loved ones and may we all look to a brighter future and a year ahead.